Necrophilia and You: Keeping Your Loved Ones Fresh

          So your loved one has taken a new interest? Perhaps your fun loving, free-spirit, soul-mate, has turned into a soulless, mindless, ghoul? Has he gone from picking your brain to trying to eat it? Never fear!  By following a few simple guidelines, you too can rekindle that fire you had for each other before the zombie apocalypse hit.

          First, safety is the most important thing when trying to spice up your love life. You have to remember that your loved one is not at his or her best currently. This means that you need to be aware at any point in time a simple kiss on the cheek can quickly escalade into your face being chewed off.  Being aware of your surroundings is critical in any survival situation! You wouldn’t walk into a lion’s den eating a raw steak and not expect to be made dinner yourself, would you? If you are among the majority, the answer would be no. More than likely, you would have something to defend yourself.  The same goes with loving your newly turned zombie half.  You should always carry protection! Any object that can deliver a mean blunt-force trauma would be a great asset to protecting yourself.

          Next, it is important to remember communication is key. Communication builds up layers of trust. Expert Valerie Gaus, who is a psychologist and author of the book “Living Well on the Spectrum” has stated this, “Once you become more intimate and if you want to be physical, communicating to your partner what kinds of touch you do and do not like is critical, and again, that person's receptivity will inform your decision about whether to continue the relationship or not. ( Openly communicating your concerns and likes will not only help minimize your risk, but also ease any insecurities either of you might have in this re-blossoming romance.

          By following these simple steps will greatly increase the fire you two had for each other prior to one being turned into the living dead. Just remember, that even though on the outside he may be trying to shred you to pieces on the inside, he is still that big ol’ teddy bear you grew to love!

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