Murphy’s Laws of Zombie Combat Operations
1. Murphy’s Law: “If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong at the worst possible time in the worst possible way”
2. Murphy was an optimist.
3. Keep it simple, stupid (but not as stupid as a zombie).
4. If it’s simple, and it works, it’s not stupid.
5. In Anti-Zombie combat, all the important things are very simple and all the simple things are very difficult.
6. Against zombies, automatic fire is suicidal, suppressive fire an idiocy, but friendly fire is eternally never friendly
7. It doesn’t matter how many seconds your grenade fuses are, grenades just create messy zombies.
8. Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
9. You can never have too much ammo
10. When in doubt if the target is zombie or human, spray the gray.
11. Incoming fire has the right of way.
12. Try not to draw zombie attention—it annoys everyone around you.
13. Teamwork is very important—it gives the zombies someone else to bite.
14. Try to look inconspicuous—the zombies might be full.
15. If you are short of everything but zombies, you are in a combat zone.
16. If uncertain of any zombie’s position, look behind you.
17. If you take more than your fair share of zombies you will then have more of your fair share of zombies to take.
18. If you fortify your position so much the zombies can’t get in you will make it impossible for yourself to get out.
19. Anything you do can get you killed, including doing nothing.
20. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver or noisier than yourself.
21. The most dangerous thing in the world is (old school) a second lieutenant with a compass and a map or (new school) the same second lieutenant with a GPS and a laptop.
22. When you have secured an area, there are always more zombies who will walk in and unsecure it .
23. The easy way is always full of zombies.
24. A zombie bite wound is nature’s way of telling you are REALLY going to have to slow down.